Vulnerability, it sucks, or does it?
I have spent a lot of my life thinking that it sucks, but from experience I have realised it doesn’t. I am writing this because I have learnt a very valuable life lesson, that accepting vulnerability is the core of what we need to be truly happy in life. After watching this very powerful TED talk by Brene Brown, I knew I had to start embracing my vulnerability.
You might be thinking, what does she mean?
Well, a situation for you… You are seeing someone romantically and you want to know where it’s going, the only way to find out is to talk to that person, and there it is, vulnerability rearing its ugly head! It’s horrible when you really want to talk to someone, to tell them what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling but you just fear rejection, you’re scared of how they will react because you are letting them see you for who you really are, you’re not putting on a front or trying to be cool, you’re being true to yourself. Whenever we are put in a situation in life where we have to let ourselves be truly seen, we usually run away and hide, have a glass of wine or a bottle of beer, or maybe 5, to try and numb what we feel but when we numb that part of us, we numb all the good parts too.
If you are feeling really vulnerable about something and you numb it, the problem doesn’t go away.
It stays, it then takes up the majority of your thinking time and starts pouring out of you, no matter how hard you try and put on a brave face and smile, it’s there, bubbling underneath. So, why do we hate being vulnerable so much? What is it about that emotion that really gets to us? The answer? It’s you, 100% you, it is feeling that you are not enough as you, that when you confront that person you are romantically involved with the feeling wont be reciprocated and then we don’t feel we are enough for that person and therefore unworthy. But the truth is, you are enough, all of us as individuals are enough. Just because someone may not feel the way you feel for them doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of being loved, you are, every single person on this planet is worthy of that, it’s what makes the world go round after all.
We need to learn how to accept vulnerability as a strength
Because I know once we do that, we open ourselves right up, officially letting ourselves be who we are and accepting that we are all human. We all have feelings and it is ok to share that with others. It’s extremely important in life to know yourself so well that you are happy to always be true to yourself because if you don’t do that, you become unhappy. We have one life and who wants to spend it unhappy? This of course is easier said than done but I promise you, it WILL be worth it!